In my observation, there are 4 killers in relationship and wish to explore these in today’s video, so here goes.
I have had the privilege of facilitating relationship oriented coaching over the years in both a personal and or professional sense but ironically enough ‘love’ seems to be missing, yes even in the business sense. Humans primary emotion is LOVE, period. It is critical in both one’s personal and professional life to sustain Equanimeous relations.
Number #1 – CONTROL
I come from an extreme control oriented background so I understand integrally the world of control. Now although control is a critical element to effective management and leadership, it can also be a death knell to harmonious relationships. The example I use is when my Dad taught me how to waltz. Guess who tried to take control, even from such a young age however I learnt that for the waltz to truly be experienced was a function of being out of control and then and only then did the magic occur. Now don’t get me wrong control is powerful, but there are two contexts to everything, empowered control and disempowered control. The one I question in relationship be that personal or professional is disempowered control, no magic can occur here. The litmus test here ‘Do you like being controlled in relationship?’ Enough said!
Number#2 – DISTRUST
The second killer in relationship is distrust and it shows up primarily in the domain of money. If you are unable to trust your partner in money, it’s a great barometer on your level of trust in the relationship. Usually, 9 times out of 10, unhealed historical dynamics always rule the present where personal and or business partnerships are concerned. Go and do the healing to ensure you do not impact your current relationships
Number#3 – JEALOUSY
The third killer to relationship is jealousy, if you are not secure in yourself and you do comparison it does kills love which is all that matters in relationship. You create worlds that have no validity but the validity to which you give them and usually these worlds are very disempowering. If someone pays a compliment to your man or woman, it should make you feel good, not destroy you. If your partner wishes to go away and explore you should encourage not deny through fear. Insecurity in one’s personal life and professional life is a killer
Number#4 – DISSATISFACTION
And lastly number 4, stop making your partner wrong people! You are not in relationship to clone yourself, heaven forbid! They will never be like you, nor would they want to be. There seems to constant dissatisfaction with what they do and how they do it???? If you are constantly making your partner wrong, love is not your agenda! A high majority of relationships are based in ‘make wrong’ which is so sad. It is not your partner’s responsibility to make you happy, lightening flash! It’s yours!
What is the point of being in a relationship with another unless it is extraordinary! The context for extraordinary is to come from love, be a contribution, listen each other as great, then manage the default as something separate.
Stop looking at sorting out the back yard of your partner be that business or personal and focus on your own backyard! Healing is critical to sort your backyard, do the work if love is important to you!