Falling in Love with your Addiction
Are you falling in love with your addiction? I love talking to a cross-section of people about addiction and to people who tell me ‘I don’t have an addictive personality’. Here’s the reality – if you are a human on this planet, you have an addiction. In one of my first videos I covered ‘being addicted to dissatisfaction’. Most of us are addicted to the area of dissatisfaction.
Today we are going to cover falling in love with your addiction.
When we are addicted to something we tend to fall into a resist/ persist cycle.
Someone is trying to lose weight and they fall off the bandwagon by gouging themselves with a packet of TimTams. They the proceed to beat themselves up because they are supposed to be on the diet.
How about the person that stopped smoking and then goes out, has a few drinks and ends up smoking a packet of cigarettes? Again, they beat themselves up because the ‘wheels have fallen off the wagon’.
Here’s what I know about addiction – THE WAGON WHEELS WILL ALWAYS FALL OFF.
Expect that it could, know that it could, but it doesn’t have to be the end of life. In this analogy, it’s the length of time that you take to put the wagon wheels back on.
Here’s my take – If you are going to eat the packet of TimTam’s, revel in it. Love every moment of it because in that moment that is what you are choosing to do. In that moment that is what you are committed to doing.
So, then what is the point of doing something that you love e.g. eating the packet of TimTams and then beating yourself up over it afterwards?
If that’s what you are choosing to do, give yourself permission to do it, enjoy every minute of it whilst you are doing it.
You are an adult. If you are choosing to do something and then beating yourself up, it’s ludicrous.
This is touched on in the video – Mastering the Inner critic. If there was a 5-year-old child standing beside you right now, would you berate that child the way you berate yourself most days?
The answer would be NO! So, what on earth have you done that deserves the self-flagellation that you inflict on yourself.
The base value of every human being is that they are not good enough.
How I work with addiction
The work that I do with many people concerning addiction is forgiveness. The only person who loses out of the inability to forgive is the person who can’t forgive.
We must forgive ourselves for what we have done. 9 times out of ten, where addiction is concerned, it’s an inability to be with something at an emotional level, which is why healing is a critical requirement to be able to reintegrate back into being whole and complete.
I have done the hard and fast route of addiction. For this reason, I am advocate the soft and gentle approach. The ability to become Equanimeous.
What’s had you all your life?
If I. a woman who pretty much has had severe addictive tendencies for 30 years, can overcome every addiction she’s ever had, you’re looking at someone who is an example to each other that it’s possible.
I am not discrediting what it takes to overcome any addiction on any level, but what I’m here to tell you is that it’s possible. There is a route to that possibility that is not a ‘hellish route’. It’s not something that is going to take you years and years. There is a soft and gentle way to be able to come home.
For those of you that are beating the crap out of yourself – be soft and gentle. Leverage off my knowledge.